Hello everyone,
I live in the mountains of northern California in a tiny home of 120 square feet and will be sharing thoughts and drawings with subscribers about what it's like to live in a small space. It will not be a focused topic of my Substack but is related to many of the things I am interested in and wonder about.
A question I've been pondering since early on in my life is, why are humans such a force of destruction?
In the last few years, that question has evolved into a deeper exploration of my personal participation in the destruction of life on this planet, basically using myself for research while asking questions such as, what is the value of actions taken by a single individual, why do we often feel that we don't matter, and how is it possible for us to claim we're in support of something at the same time as making choices for ourselves that contributes to the destruction of that same thing?
And maybe the central question, how can we find the time and courage to explore new paths of being in the world when we're constantly being confronted by urgent situations developing in the present? Is it possible to change the narrative of our personal and collective story in the midst of the overwhelming forces that are coming at us? Do we even want to?
Spoiler alert, I don't have any answers or solutions.
I'm dealing with often heavy and complex topics and what is driving me is equal parts love and grief. Love of the amazing diversity and beauty that exist on the planet we live on. Also, love of the beauty that exists within our beings and our ways of expressing ourselves as unique parts of a whole. The grief comes from seeing the systematic destruction of everything that is meaningful and alive.
I have to believe, even against what can seem all odds, that it's possible to make change happen and to create a better story both in the present and for the future. These are among the things I am focused on and exploring. The strength of love versus the strength of anger and rage. How grief in itself has a tendency to paralyze but can also be the fuel for action - it just needs to pick a partner.
So before I close, l wanted to say something about the cartoons I will be sharing and the title of my Substack, Flowers for Orcs.
Over a three year period I drew and developed a character that I use in most of my cartoons. It was originally a four legged creature covered in hair, a felt expression of myself three years ago when, after the ending of a long marriage, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was an adult who didn't know how to function as one. It was terrifying to suddenly be the captain of my own ship and I processed many of those fears through story telling in cartoon form. That character is now standing upright and also got some antennas.
Also three years ago, as part of my intention to draw every day, I came up with the name Flowers for Orcs. It tied into much of what I was doing by giving a name to the internal processes that were bringing me into needless suffering and self-sabotage. I drew them as cartoons, listened to their stories, had conversations, made agreements, set limits and gave them flowers out of compassion. I know what they look like now, hah. They're kind of cute but not to be underestimated even if they're significantly less potent today than they were back then.
Then there's the question of how to meet with other peoples internal orcs as they're unleashed on us and the world at large. What does it look like to, metaphorically, give them flowers too?
The orcs will be revisited in the weeks and months to come once I have a subscriber base.
I still need to learn more about this forum, how best to post, attach a banner at top of the page, etc. It will slowly fall into place as I go. In the meanwhile, thank you for reading. If you saw something here that piqued your interest, consider becoming a subscriber. My aim is to put something out once a week though I don't want to commit to a regular day just yet.
-M